Madame Quixote

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Posts by Madame Quixote

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  36

  Notes on Child Abuse Settlement

  by Amazing in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  the article by silentlambs is somewhat misleading.

  yes, the suits were settled with gag orders.

  it is customary to do so in almost any settlement case.

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  Madame Quixote

  BUMP

  Settlement = Hush Money

  But silentlambs and Jim Whitney won't hush; good for them!

  Let's keep talking about this.

  Down with the Washtower!
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  30

  Life's Short. Get A Divorce

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  that's the sign that was put up by divorce lawyer corri fetman in chicago.

  do you agree with that sentiment?

  since life's so short, and you're not happy with your mate, just get a divorce?.

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  Madame Quixote

  I agree that life is too short to stay in a miserable marriage. Still I think before you throw it away you should get some counseling to try and work it out before you divorce.

  I agree, too; life is also too short to spend it on miserable lawyers. (Aside: A wealthy woman I know was perfectly happy, at least she claimed, to give $10,000 a month to her divorce lawyers, consoling herself with the knowledge that it was $10,000 less than her ex-husband (and consequently her children) would get. Sickness manifests itself in many forms.) That is a very, very amusing ad, but it's also sick.
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  3

  What Life Teaches You

  by choosing life in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am not sure whether it is chronic illness or just experience in life that has changed me.

  but i think i really understand some things that can't be taught except through experience.. i was told by a jw today to find someone else to do business with.

  we have been dealing with him for 25 years, my entire family.

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  Madame Quixote

  Sorry to hear about the loss of a friend and business associate. It is a sad situation. I wouldn't count on his thoughts being as advanced as yours seem to be (ie, questioning the bOrg). It is something to pity, I suppose, when one is so arrogantly certain that shunning a long-time friend is part of one's "ticket to paradise" the JW way. Very, very sorry to hear this is happening to you.
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  36

  Have you ever had a really bad haircut? (rant)

  by restrangled in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  went to a salon today with picture in hand.

  i spent 2/1/2 hours suffering in the chair, (foiling and cut).

  i wound up with about 6 to 7 inches lopped off and came out looking like a big haired, bubble headed 80's special.

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  Madame Quixote

  Thank goodness it will grow back. I'm in my forties too, and I'm ugly, and I've always had short hair, with quite a few bad cuts. It's really rough to be ugly and have a bad hair cut. At least you're not there. In any event, it will grow back. Sorry that happened.
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  5

  What a coincidence

  by FourMs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i seem to have encountered many strange coincidences in my life.

  for some reason it mostly has had to do with my past boyfriends as well as my husband.

  here are a few examples that i can think of off the top of my head.. when i was 15, some friends at school wanted to hook me up with one of their friends.

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  Madame Quixote

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees_of_separation

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees_of_separation

  Apparently, I am less than one degree from wingdings; surprisingly, that wingding link actually works.
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  5

  What a coincidence

  by FourMs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i seem to have encountered many strange coincidences in my life.

  for some reason it mostly has had to do with my past boyfriends as well as my husband.

  here are a few examples that i can think of off the top of my head.. when i was 15, some friends at school wanted to hook me up with one of their friends.

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  Madame Quixote

  The beauty of coincidences is that they are so coincidental.

  You know about the 6 degrees of separation thing, right?
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  8

  Un-marked territory trips, or whatever you call it. Did you ever go?

  by NotaNess in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i heard today at work, one of the witnesses at work has signed up for going to miss.

  or tenn. with a group to work "un-marked" areas?

  i know i'm calling it wrong, but you know what i mean.. did any of you make any of these type of trips, where, and any crazy happenings on them?.

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  Madame Quixote

  Yep and NO. It was SSDD. Rural NC. Mosquitoes, poor, old black folks living on their farms who had more sense in their little fingers than we did. They knew how to stay out of the heat and keep the bugs out.
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  34

  For those who've settled on 'no contact' with their JW families . . .

  by Madame Quixote in

  1. social
  2. family

  for whatever reason.

  do you question it sometimes and think you should try to "reach out" to them again?

  i was this morning and then came across the thread above and was reminded why i need to stay away.. but, still, i read threads of people who have managed somehow, despite being d'f'ed or faded or d'aed and think i might try to be more understanding, supportive, reach out or something.. despite all the problems growing up in a fairly dysfunctional family, i still feel a deep attachment to them and hope against hope that they might come to their senses (if they ever had any to begin with) and get help and leave the cult of jehobo; and we might reconcile,etc., etc., blah blah blah dream dream dream.. i deeply wish for them all freedom and happiness and healing and feel so helpless to free them of their bonds and yet see so much possibility for it, if only they could be reached somehow.

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  Madame Quixote

  If I'm not worth being loved, then I'm not going to bother trying to love.

  I think that is what the jws and our jw families really believe about us and it is a challenge to combat it, especially if we stay in contact with them and if we maintain in our hearts and minds that the connection to them is still meaningful somehow, as Trevor was saying.

  I think that is where I have been stuck for a very long time - in not being able to accept that a relationship with any of them is in fact meaningless. It makes it impossible to "bother trying to love" when one feels or believes (however unconscious it may be) that one's abusers are a necessity or that we can change them somehow. Intellectually, I know it isn't true that I am worthless, but emotionally, I have that loss of self-esteem so deeply entrenched.

  I come here always hoping to find a loved one, it seems. It isn't my only motivation for being here, but lately an over-arching backdrop.

  Good grief, Richie, your mom was a real pill. And I thought my mother was a you-know-what! You poor dear! Glad you got away from her and from her cult; hope things are going well for you, your wife, and your dad (who has the misfortune of being married still to your mother). Thank goodness we don't have to marry our parents, though the jws would like us to think we must!
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  34

  For those who've settled on 'no contact' with their JW families . . .

  by Madame Quixote in

  1. social
  2. family

  for whatever reason.

  do you question it sometimes and think you should try to "reach out" to them again?

  i was this morning and then came across the thread above and was reminded why i need to stay away.. but, still, i read threads of people who have managed somehow, despite being d'f'ed or faded or d'aed and think i might try to be more understanding, supportive, reach out or something.. despite all the problems growing up in a fairly dysfunctional family, i still feel a deep attachment to them and hope against hope that they might come to their senses (if they ever had any to begin with) and get help and leave the cult of jehobo; and we might reconcile,etc., etc., blah blah blah dream dream dream.. i deeply wish for them all freedom and happiness and healing and feel so helpless to free them of their bonds and yet see so much possibility for it, if only they could be reached somehow.

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  Madame Quixote

  Long story short, he says that if I had come after him or tried to send him stuff to read, letters or emails, that he wouldn't have listened. The fact that I was living my life peacefully gave him pause.

  Frank75 - I know this is also true of my family. Better to let sleeping dogs lie, especially after my mailing of silentlambs lit to them was called hate mail. They are just impossible to reach unless they want to be reached, I guess.

  Noni1974 - I wish more JW families were like yours, too, but I guess they are not and that's a large part of the reason for this board. I am happy you are able to maintain some kind of relationship with your loved ones without it being abusive.

  looking glass, pistoff and rosepetal - it is sad that so many of our families have such nasty dysfunctional behaviours in common; it is also nice to know that we can build and rely on the families of choice that we have, not just our families of birth.

  bumblebee - yeah, I think I am not prepared to face more of the same old, same old, which would be unjust treatment by them of me.
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  34

  For those who've settled on 'no contact' with their JW families . . .

  by Madame Quixote in

  1. social
  2. family

  for whatever reason.

  do you question it sometimes and think you should try to "reach out" to them again?

  i was this morning and then came across the thread above and was reminded why i need to stay away.. but, still, i read threads of people who have managed somehow, despite being d'f'ed or faded or d'aed and think i might try to be more understanding, supportive, reach out or something.. despite all the problems growing up in a fairly dysfunctional family, i still feel a deep attachment to them and hope against hope that they might come to their senses (if they ever had any to begin with) and get help and leave the cult of jehobo; and we might reconcile,etc., etc., blah blah blah dream dream dream.. i deeply wish for them all freedom and happiness and healing and feel so helpless to free them of their bonds and yet see so much possibility for it, if only they could be reached somehow.

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  Madame Quixote

  Oh dear me! No thanks, CoCo. Although I think I will send the mother's day card that congratulates my mom for bringing up such a perfect child - me!

  ithinkisee, thanks for taking the time to post that conversation, so redolent of the same verses and lines of conversations I too have endured.

  trevor - very good points; I felt a twinge of "but why so black and white with them always"? Because, it's the way they are and the way they want to be; not the way I want to be.

  sassmyfrass - it is good to be reminded that conditional love isn't love anyway.

  Gretchen - sounds like your parents and mine are clones. thanks for the reminders.

  garybuss - I don't like the idea of an olive branch up my butt, either! Thanks for the humor.